i'm reading about how to survive a robot uprising. i'm not gonna give away all the secrets, but i'll share a few...

• choose a complex environment. waterfalls, street traffic, and places with lots of ambient noise confuse the robots.


• lose your heat signature. smear yourself with mud and leaves and sit real still.


• use uncommon words to suss out robots on the phone. robots do not know how pronounce supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.


• find a blunt weapon. serrated edges won't work on robo exo-skeletons. nope.


• alter your stride. robots can judge gait and injury, even height and intention, by stride, so put some rocks in your shoes and mix things up a bit. doing some ministry of silly walks stuff goes even further towards confusing them.


• pretend that everything is normal. to forstall a mechanized killing spree, you must pretend that nothing is amiss.

...that should keel y'all alive for a while. you're welcome.


my feet are still cold.

i had decaf coffee for the first time last night.

also, i heard a rumor that bonnie bell dr pepper lip smacker is on the outs. i'm stocking up.