this is the journal of dorian gray.

i have finally found a scotch i really like, and it's $100+/bottle. this is just a small obstacle, though. i will have a bottle of glenrothes '85 in my house before the year is out. i will!

i have 5 pairs of scissors, and i have a shitton of rubber bands, and i still can't get my hands all cool like this.

as much as i'm (i think) behind the occupy ____ movement, i've not participated. i've not gone to the camp, i've not donated water or toilet paper, i've only marginally kept an eye on news reports. a little moreso now that the encampments are getting broken up and pregnant women are getting pepper sprayed, but still... i have more questions than answers.

mostly, my reluctance lies in that i don't think that confrontational direct action works anymore; people like PETA and the unibomber have ruined it. maybe it never really worked at all. i mean, granted, it gets people talking, but then what? in modern times, are there direct lines that can be drawn between action and positive social change? i'm not asking about suffrage or the civil rights movement, those were protests with solid, stated goals, and they took place at times when a large impact had to be made. carrie nation couldn't get her message out via facebook, so she had to smash some shit up with a hatchet, but is that tactic still valid?

does the everyday nature of it all dilute or strengthen the message?

what exactly has occupy ___ changed? are we better-educated about certain issues? maybe. are we working on changing our lifestyles - above and beyond switching to credit unions? do we feel we have a greater say in our (supposedly representational) governmental procedures? i just don't know, and i don't know how to go about finding solid answers. do we even know what this whole ruckus is all about? are we sticking with antiquated protestation methods because we can't think of a better way to go about it?

a lot of my feelings are tainted by my "activist" parents, i totally admit that. i saw them do bad things with the best of intentions, and i saw them do dumb things because they thought it'd make a point.



one example: in 3rd grade, we had a couple of high school students from norway visit our class. we were supposed to prepare a few questions for them, fluffy stuff about daily life and culture and all. the expectation was that after school, we'd head to the library or ask our parents to help us read up a little bit about norway and we'd base our questions on that. when i asked my mom for help, she told me all about seal hunting and told me to ask the visiting students (who were expecting questions like "is it colder there than here?") why their country still participated in the seal slaughter.

so i did.
and everyone was shocked and horrified.
and i didn't get that i had done anything wrong; i'd just asked the question my mom told me to ask. i was 9, i didn't know any better.

when i got home, i told her what had happened, and she laughed it off, "oh you weren't really supposed to have asked that..." really? because that's what we had talked about all night, to the exclusion of anything else that i could have asked, and even though i really wanted to know if everyone skied to work like i saw on that one monty python episode, i didn't even feel empowered to ask that.


so when i think of direct activism, i think of it with a deeply-ingrained sense of personal dread. i think of it as misguided. i think of it as idealism clashing against reality in a way that will do nothing to change either. i think o fit as reactive rather than proactive. i think of it as actions lacking finesse. i think of it as a form of intimidation. i think of it as a childish tantrum.

i don't have any solutions. but i do know that while protesters getting teargassed on the streets may change our conversations, it will probably not change the mind of the person who's caught in a traffic jam because of it.

i hate movember. i think that growing a mustache for charity is a shitty idea, but then i don't like charity events that call for any kind of dog-and-pony-show business. and i especially don't like listening to women complain about their menfolks' tempstaches. i wonder, if there was a charity thing wherein women were encouraged to grow and groom their pit hair, would it get as much dap? i highly doubt it.

my thanksgiving day alone plans have been wrecked.
however, it looks like i'll be flying solo on both christmas and new years, and for at least a week in january.

the cold war kids sound like joan armatrading. nobody should sound like joan armatrading.

no, the muppets should not host the oscars.

and in further unpopular opinion, the whole "it gets better" movement is lame - it encourages passivity and acceptance rather than action. it's not a movement that strengthens the individual or even works towards making things - whatever those things may be - better; it's just patronizing.

stab stab stab.

oh my goodness, this game is beautiful.

this weekend was pretty much as full of awesome as a weekend can be. saturday was adventure day and sunday was relaxy/cleany day. well, mostly, i relaxed while the beatnik cleaned, but i think it was a fair trade-off.

i cooked a bunch of stuff, up to and including cinnamon rolls from scratch. yeasted breads have always been problematic for me, so i was doubletriple glad that they turned out. and i went through a bunch of computer junk and deleted things, transferred photos from the phone to the 'puter and vice versa, and started the re ituning of my itunes. and as a part of all that, i deleted a bunch of old texts, they were a sad record and as much as i'd like to remember the good times, they stand as a reminder of how much fun it was. in the past. you know, before. anyway, gone now. and with mention of their passing, so goes their importance. and then i did laundry. wrapped up the evening with a couple of games of cards and that was that.

our landlord is coming to town to view the property and instead of taking all the dirty art down off the walls, we're just going to put post-its and black masking tape Xs over all the naughty bits. for the coffee table, i'm going to cut up one of the big vinyl prints i made earlier this year and use it as a table cover. there, all fixed.

my favorite autumnal song.
actually, if i had to pick a favorite song of all time, it would probably be this one:

oh yeah, i have another art show coming up. in february. in .. um... some town by a lake. there are wineries near there. it's east of here.

i think it may be a reprise of the valentines show i did in greenwood in '09.


i just peeked at some analytics. search terms that have led people to bvg include:
black guy which food is best fried chicken, macaroni, kool aid big eyes
bitchy breakfast
what do goths eat
bullshitometer
i can get streets of fire for my ipod
gruchalla salsa
is bumblefingers a word
i hate my gluten free life
stuff to appease a bitchy girlfriend
my bread is grilled but my cheese didn't melt
tommie lee jones vegetarian
what hipsters have in their messenger bag

also, new BVG is up.

after reading the first three of the song of ice and fire series, it's weird to be able to finish a normal-sized book. in a day. i started reading bad marie yesterday at lunch, and just now finished it.

the firey icey nonsense, epic though it may be, is really kind of dumb. but also very smart. i keep going back and forth on whether or not i like the storytelling; the stories themselves are mostly interesting and the way the plots and subplots weave together makes for some compelling reading, but! here's the thing. i know brienne is ugly but has nice eyes. i know that varys is creepy and also weird. i know that the women are, mostly, medieval women - pawns in marriage if lucky, vessels for babies and rape if not. and the men are all either "i fight with kill-rage" or "i'm a conniving conniver" - not a lot of subtlety. i know that tyrion has been shorted (cough cough) in the looks department. i know jon snow knows nothing. i know that everyone has their fucking banners and that walder begat walder who begat walder who begat waldette who begat walder... there are a lot of pieces of bad writing, and that gets in the way of the good stuff.

and the good stuff is good, this is a true science fact. there is a lot i like in the series - notably, the subtlety lost on a lot of the stereotypey characters is found in the way the magical/shapeshifting/back from the dead aspects are brought into the story. like, yup, we ate lampreys and also this guy came back from the dead and i had to kill him again. the lampreys were gross.

after i get through iq84, i'll read the next book in the series, but i think i'll have to cleanse my brain with a few lighter reads in the meantime. speaking of, i need to make my picks for comic book delivery next week. wednesday comes to those who wait.

speaking of deliveries, the sidesipper should be opening in half an hour, and that means someone will be bringing me a rum & coke in 32 minutes. i like this.

it's also come to my attention that i need "something that consumes me." and i have to agree with this.

in school (when i went back the 2nd time), i worked full time, carried an average of 16 credits, and up until i had to take math classes my gpa was 3.98. that was exciting and exhilarating and my brain worked in fabulous and wonderful ways. this was also when i discovered my love of chilled espresso and vanilla vodka and long velvet scarves.

then i moved out here and had an entirely new city to learn.

then i helped found a roller derby league, which aside from skating included up to 30 hours of admin work a week. after i quit skating, i coached pfm, which was only a 15 hour per week time cut, but had a whole lot more in terms of interpersonal energy given. and actually even now, i consult with some derby coaches informally - that's still a couple hours a month.

i quit that, what, 2 years ago? i've been aimlessly drifting ever since. i've had things, people, who have charmed and inspired, but they have been fleeting for one reason or another. and there is really only so much tv one gal can watch.



so, i'm taking fencing lessons. the quarter doesn't start until january, though. i have a lot of time to kill until then.

pumpkin pie popovers

heat oven and a muffin tin to 450.

blend together 1 cup flour, i cup milk, 2 eggs, 1/4 cup pumpkin (the actual vegetable, not the pie filling), 1/8 tsp each nutmeg, cinnamon, and ginger, dash of black pepper.
when the oven and muffin tin are hot, take out the tin and fill each cup halfway with batter. pop it back in the oven and bake at 450 for 20 minutes, then reduce to 350 for an additional 20 minutes. do not open the door. do not peek, do not even think about going near the damn oven. just. don't.
leave it be.

when the 40 minutes are up, take the popovers out and stab each one with a sharp knife. just once. it feels good. let them sit for 5 more minutes.

while the popovers are sitting, combine equal parts pumpkin and neufchatel cheese. add spices (i use cloves, more ginger, and a teeny dash of balsamic vinegar) and add a bit of sugar, honey, or maple syrup to sweeten the pot.

the sugar i use for this is a vanilla lemon sugar - fill a large jar with sugar, add 2 or 3 sliced and gutted vanilla beans and the freshly grated zest of at least 1 lemon. maybe 2. mix everything well and allow it to sit for a month. the oil from the lemon peel will make the sugar clump, you can either toss in some grains of rice to help prevent this or just mix the sugar well, and often, and run it through a sieve before using. coffee sweetened with this sugar tastes pretty damn amazing.

you are welcome.

i think what's missing is passion.

"if we get married at Frankies Tiki Room, I will carry a bouquet of lighted puffer fish."

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

between a killer head cold, the weekend, and a seriously impending wedding (gotta leave here in 3 hours), i've been off work for 6 days. and i've been spectacularly... something. i dunno. i've just been.

i'm not paganally inclined, but i do like the idea of the new year happening earlier. the beginning of the dark days of winter seems the perfect time to renew and refresh, so i've adopted that one aspect. that the new year, metaphorically, starts tomorrow. out with the old, in with the... well, not new, but definitely the better.

so here's the old. out with it!

the sick part of the last week took a huge energy toll, so i didn't really do anything exciting until yesterday. it was pretty much all i could do to stay awake while watching tv. reading was too much effort, and i didn't have it in me to do any writing. i wasn't just tired, i was weary. soul weary. and sad, too.

there is a different, better BVG entry in the hopper, but the beatnik has to post it. once the blog gets switched over to wordpress, i'll be able to do that myself, but i don't have admin rights on the typepress account. maybe in a month or so, when things get a bit calmer around here we'll get that all switched around and taken care of.

yesterday, sabina came over for a long overdue slice of glitterpie and to watch drive angry - arguably nicholas cage's official worst movie ever. certainly his worst wig ever. sabina and i have a particular penchant for shitty movies, and she finishes my sentences (along with me, as i'm saying them. it's weird) and fits into my vintage dresses. but then she went home and i went back to half-napping through criminal minds reruns.

dreams have been weird - quite literally fever dreams. i remember too many details to even begin to jot them down. the gist of all, though, is things undone, things not right, things going all off-kilter because of the actions of others, and that's absolutely mirroring real life right now. i just feel like too much is dependent on the whims of the world at large, and it makes me uncomfortable. it's hard to be the master of one's own destiny when the thoughts and feelings of additional people are involved. that's not correct - it's easy if there's honesty in the mix, but i've learned the hard way not to count on that so much. it goes against my nature, because i want to believe that people are reasonably good - and i do think they are - it's just that ego and fear and all that garbage sometimes gets in the way. i wish it didn't. i wish it was easier to get to the creamy center, that's where the best stuff is. and yeah, i wish i could share mine more easily, i want to, but i think the years have convinced me that it's dangerous, and that nobody wants it anyway. i do hope the years are wrong.

a couple weeks ago i had started a pretty large arty project, and it had a specific purpose, and shit happened, and the reason i wanted to finish it turned from a purely giving "hey i made a thing for you" to a very spiteful "hey i made a thing and now you can't have it." and right about the time that switch happened, i fucked up the piece. irreparably. because making pretty things into petty things never works. after the fuckup, i kept working on it because i was bound and determined to finish, because spite! and also because i wasn't ready to stop. yesterday i threw it away.
and today i'm remaking it. because it was a damn good idea and the idea deserves another chance. but today i'm remaking it for me.

this fits in that line of thinking too, trust me - i don't think that right in the midst of sexy funtimes is a good time to be thinking of bill murray, but ... ok, i'd best back up a bit. when i started taking the hormonal treatment for endo, my body reactions got a bit wonky, and when i stopped taking the 'mones, instead of going back to how things were, it all jumbled up again in new and different ways. one of the most noticeable effects is orgasming. rather, not orgasming. it just doesn't work the way it used to. not to say it doesn't happen, but it's different, and getting there is a whole 'nother journey. it's like, hmmm.. i don't know what it's like. it's like all of a sudden, your favorite ice cream tastes like cheese. and cheese is good and all, but it's not ice cream and no matter how much you eat, or how much you tell yourself that cheese is indeed an acceptable substitute, it won't sate the ice cream appetite.
all the things i thought my body reacted well to are kinda moot now and i know that finding new things should be a fun adventure, but it's kind of frustrating because when muscle memory kicks in and things that should work don't it's hard not to be all "dang." but! then suddenly bill murray popped into my head. it just doesn't matter! it just doesn't matter! and that turned out to be a good thing.
however, that can't be a mantra that's ever said out loud.

i'm really fucking tired of eggshells. i'm tired of not saying things for fear of making people uncomfortable, and i'm especially tired of people not saying things to me. so i'm declaring eggshell amnesty. you want to say something? ask something? tell something? please, do it. it will be a gift, from you to me, to do so - even if it seems hard or hurtful. but doubly so if its thoughtful. i'd rather have the words than the uncertainty. comments are screened on this post. fair warning, i'm going to do my best to bring this out in person, too. bring it. because i want it, and most of all, because i can take it.

time to do the laundry. the pants i want to wear to the wedding are actually pajamas and they need a little picker-upper.

Los Peyotes, "Vampiro"
The Oncomers, "You Let Me Down"
Tonstartssbandht, "Black Country"
Tassomancy, "Healthy Hands (will mourn you)"
The Frantics, "Werewolf"
Dwight Twilley, "I'm On Fire"
Yuka Yuka Teikoku, "Frankie Teardrop" (suicide cover)
Chuck Gregg, "Walkin' At Midnight"
The Poets. "Dead"
Nathan Bell, "Moon's Blood"
The Dead Brothers, "Bela Lugosi's Dead"
Horrorpops, "It's Been So Long"
Electrelane, "Gone Darker"
Pinky Aoki and Fire Engine, "Pet Semetary"
The Youngbloods, "Darkness, Darkness"

all culled from the fantastic nevver.com, which you should be checking on a daily basis all the time, forever.

in regards to the latest security breach kerfluffle, i'm saddened that issues like this aren't dealt with in a professional manner. i'm also kinda peeved that there is a teeny-tiny infinitesimally slightest of chances that some posts i have chosen to filter could be unlocked by someone other than me. there's not much that i keep filtered, but what does get a bit of extra lock-down is messy -- previously, heartbreak and recently, endometriosis. it's not the end of the world if anyone reads about those, but i know some have preferred to stay away from one or the other. so yeah.





all this has me thinking about projections and personas and the amount of time and effort it takes to keep up appearances. i'm lazy, and i like to think that i'm at least a bit genuine; i don't like to appear as anything that i'm not or to hide the things that i am. and right now i'm having a hard time because right now i'm a bit (a lot) of a mess - i'm confused, giving, sad, angry, sneezy, happy, wistful, creative, spiteful, curious... to try to come across as anything less than that seems disingenuous. i don't know that i can, or even want to, change who i appear to be in order to make the people around me more comfortable. but it seems like that's what i have to do. or at least it seems that's what those around me want me to do, to make myself easier to deal with, or easier to understand.

we all tend to present the person we want others to see rather than the person we really are, and i'm tired of that. the all of me is so much better than the easily-digestible bits and pieces.
i am so much more than that.

and i am very sad that that's just not good enough. i wish it was.

there are only 10 hours to go in this kickstarter thing - many thanks to everyone who's supported, boosted the signal, given feedback, wished me luck... alla that. i'm really excited to start making some cool, cool things!

the whole crorwdfunding thing is still a bit daunting, but a lot of people i know -and strangers, too. strangers!- have been really excited about being able to be a part of the process, and that in turn makes me even more excited!

10 hours, you guys! 10 hours!

ok. i did it. i made a kickstarter page for my show. i have things i want to print in prohibitively expensive ways, and if i'm gonna get them made, it's going to be by group effort.



this also means that i'll be spending many evenings hunched over a button press, handcrafting (hopefully) scads of one-of-a-kind thank you gifts.

feel free to pass this along, or ignore, as you see fit.

"you know? There's nothing I enjoy more than coming back from lunch and seeing a little chat from you that says kill all humans! #immd"


there are at least 7 dogs in the office today. a roving pack. and there are children. also a roving pack. and i got a postcard from germany with a gluckscent taped to it, which if i were the superstitious type, i'd say negated any friday the 13th ju-ju. but i still have dog hair all over me. ungh.

i've not been to the gym in a week and i have all kinds of pent-up energy that needs to be worked out - the vicious cycle, though, is that when i'm stressy the last thing i want to do is lift heavy things, even though i know it's the best thing i can do, really. so i don't, then i feel worse, then i also have the guilts about not working out and then when i finally do go i think, damn, why didn't do this all along? there's some mental block that i may have to overcome memento stylee - with tattoos! if i had been born a freakbeast, i could get HEAVY LIFTING across my knuckles, but since i have the regular amount of fingers, that won't work.

a cup of coffee at 11pm seemed like such a good idea... then.
now, not so much.

dear sir, your fake brittish accent will not get the agency's president to take your call.
also, when you call every day at lunchtime, your person will always be out to lunch.
also too, when i ask where you are calling from and you say "earth" and i say "can you be more specific," i'm really fishing to find out what business you are with, not your galactic coordinates.

oh, the horrors i put up with. i need a fainting couch up here.

i'm calling it. this whole obama birth certificate thing will be looked back upon as the exact moment that the united states jumped the shark. future historians, take note.



sleepy. i have had too much coffee and too little sleep, so i'm jittering around all boi-oi-oing.
these are the kinds of conversations i'm capable of -
mich: hey, how's it goin'?
me: [holding up a crust of bread] i just had a peanut butter sandwich!
mich: i have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
me: oh. mine had jelly on it, too
mich: well, why didn't you say that before?
me: well, a gal's gotta have some mystery

a little bit later, and off the topic of sammiches -
me: if you're tired of mowing the lawn, you should get a goat. a pygmy goat. it could play with the cats and stuff, too.
mich: can you milk pygmy goats?
me: the lady ones, you can



somebody put these words together in this order - "odd-toed ungulate fun run." i read it on a site about tapirs. that just sounds dirty.



there is no sense in my even trying to make sense today. i'm cool with that.

spent a good chunk of the morning wondering how best to spell out to certain cow-orkers that "i guess i have to figure out how to do this... [pregnant pause]" and "hey, can you show me how to do this?" are not synonymous sentiments. the former will get you nothing but a snide, sideways glance, while the latter will get you a tutorial, complete with crib notes and a puppet show. then i decided it's a herculean task, probably sisyphusian, and i have better things to do with my time.

things like read about this - the oregon legislature rickrolling itself. bits of stuff like this remind me that politicians people aren't necessarily always soulless automatons. and it's skind of necessary when the political climate is especially dire. like now. and forever.


starting tomorrow, the current will be running a 24-hour stream of local mn music. which i will be listening to nonstop for probably a week and which will go quite far towards making me homesick. minneapolis has been on my mind a lot lately; my old block caught on fire, people from the past keep coming back up, i've not been back since '02. but here's the thing, the city has changed so much, and the feeling of home was more tied to people than to places, that it doesn't seem to matter much anymore. and that's really not as defeatist as it sounds, not in the least.

also, that UNKLE/nick cave song, btw, rocks all known ass.

so, the beatnik and i have been doing some guerrilla gardening in the weird dirt patch on front of the building - we've been slowly reconditioning the soil and cleaning out the weeds and stuff, and on sunday we planted gladiolus bulbs, pansies, and violets. well, today the landlord's brother went out there with a snow shovel and dug up all the bulbs. accidentally; he thought he was "aerating" the dirt. but still.

the soil is really hard and mostly clay, so i was planning on making most of it into a daylily wonderland, with some tall ferns in back and ssome low asters in front and a few bits of other stuff here and there. lots of miniature wormwood and corsican mint, too, to fill in the gaps. i love that stuff. i probably still will do all that, i'll just have to keep a better eye on the landlord. and hide the shovel.


i'm thinking about getting some doll eyes, the kind that blink when moved, and half-burying them out there, too. just so nobody else messes with my stuff. where can i get mannequin hands cheap?

i just got a postcrossing card from japan - "my home, my family, and my friends are all ok, no damage, but many people are extremely damaged. i'm ok, but so, so sad." she went on to thank the americans who sent red cross stuff and rescue dogs and the like - so if you helped in any way with donations or whatever, there is a nice gal in kawasaki city who was very touched. when these things happen, it's very easy to push them aside and think of them in the abstract - disaster is a thing that happens to other people. but when those other people reach out and make a connection, it becomes a million billion times more real.

my to-do list is a million billion miles long and the only thing on it that i even remotely am inclined to do is, well now that i think of it, nothing. there is absolutely nothing that i absolutely need to do today, so maybe i should just put everything off til tomorrow and not sweat it.

correction, i have an appointment tonight that can't be missed. other than that, aimless. shiftless. idle. yay.

had a mini fit-o-rage this morning when the rcrg facebook group posted a video of me skating in the first ever bout, back in '05, with the headline "you've come a long way, BABY." fit of rage.

but now i'm gonna nap and that will be the end of that.
there, i fixed it.

i've been on a mini news boycott lately; i still watch the daily show and scan the headlines, but i no longer spend chunks of time reading the ny times and guardian.uk. it's refreshing, but i do kind of feel a twinge of The Guilt about being willfully ignorant. so today i read about government shutdowns and more nuclear threats and libyan photos that make the snapshots from guantanamo bay look like a family vacation on the beach.

then i started reading regression analysis on why some airports are more expensive to fly into and out of than others. the basic reason is a complicated algebra of mitigating factors like demand for travel, market size and flight rates, and the length of time planes are idle, but it can really be summarized as, "because... well you shut up!"

i give up. i'm gonna go find a bunch of laurell k hamilton novels and hide away for a while.

just chugged a beer while hula-hooping. in front of my boss.
how was your day at work?

probably the best part of uncle secret's book club is the extra-credit assignment, something that has something to do with the book, maybe sorta. last month, it was pick a song that best represented fahrenheit 451 ("inquiring minds (should read a book)" by dillinger 4 was my pick). this month, the assignment is to build a diorama depicting a scene in laura palmer's diary. i ordered the book 2 weeks ago, and it hasn't arrived yet, and the only thing i know about it is a paragraph one of my friends read to me last week, and i was only kind of sort of paying attention to her. but! from that, i have enough fodder to make the world's best diorama and it's the best idea ever and yes, my competitive streak comes out in full force for this. i'm all excited! i'd post what it is, but there are some clubbers n my f'list and i don't wanna give anything away. yet.

last week, i thought i had the world's best idea, but i just topped myself. all hail caffeine!



schools are out today and the office is overrun with children. it makes me wanna drink.

just made avocado fries. they were really really good.

so... the thing on my eyelid. could be basal cell carcinoma, or it might just be a liver spot. my doc wants to wait a bit before doing a biopsy - mainly because of the location. even the smallest bit of noodling around will give me a wicked black eye and blurred vision for a couple of days. she's comfortable with waiting for 3 months, then doing a re-check/biopsy, but i'm to go in immediately if it gets bigger or weird or anything. so that's that.

thing is, cancer is deal-withable, but age spots -- those are for life.




after the doc, i took the ir camera to the graveyard. there were just enough moments of sun to get a couple good shots. i'd like to go back on a day when it's not also pouring, hailing, winding, and otherwise being generally uncomfortable.

then... lunch, where despite my better judgment, i got a black bean veggie burger. i'm a sucker for waffle fries. transcribing, hair dye, the usual. tonight is pogo at chop suey.

did i mention i'm playing hooky today?

nutter butters dipped in mint tea = best snack ever.
that is all

there is now an office-widely recognized hand signal for "i am a hungry baby sloth and i'm stealing all your green beans." this is an important thing to communicate.

i've yet to figure out how to get the interactive developers to understand that it's ok to make eye contact. that may take a while.

i also still haven't requisitioned an easy bake oven; that's the easier task for sure, i just have to find the right moment.

at lunch, i got a double tall soy latte, but i think they made it a fourple tall soy latte, because it tasted like extra crispy burnt tongue and now i'm all super duper jitter jitter twitchy. whee!

because one gal can never have too many gray, hooded sweatshirts... there's one i'm kind of coveting. it's got antlers on it, and baked goods, 2 things i love. and it's gray. thing is, tho, it's a cupcake royale hoodie and i don't really like that part. but! antlers! i can cover up the text part, easy peasy. i could silkscreen over it or sew on a whole new set of pockets, or i dunno, something. did i mention it has antlers?

or i could make my own, different better faster stronger smarter. with all antlers, all the time. and maybe a bunny.

the current just played the suburbs and the waterboys. now they are playing shriekback. it's the '90s and i'm ok with that. oh look, portishead.

i'm kinda sad that edmond briottet liqueur de poire william is not available in the states. or at least this state. master of malt does international shipping, but their site offers the following caveat, "...we find that most packages tend to get through unhindered, with the exception of Norway - who it turns out employ customs officers who are really, really good at their jobs..." and i know that shipping hooch to wa is against state law. but maybe they are smart and ship stuff as "cooking sherry" like some absinthiers used to do. i really do like that this site offers samples, too. it's a great idea. i'm probably not very likely to ever invest in a 30-year scotch, but i'd sure like to try one sometime.

i have a couple recipes for homemade tonic water that i'd like to try - and that means SELTZER BOTTLE!

GRRRR... i just coughed up the courage to call my dermatologist about the weirdy spot by my eye (ZOMG EYEBALL CANCER) and her office is closed til thursday.

i think i can squeeze in another cup of coffee today. or maybe three.

somehow, while trying to rest my ankle, i managed to cook up an epic dinner - rotini with veggie crumblins, roasted garlic marinara and spinach tortellini bombs. also did the dishes, 2 loads of laundry, and a bunch of other walky-aroundy stuff. today i have to transcribe 3 interviews, read the last half of fahrenheit 451, finish bridget jones' dairy just so i don't have to read the damn thing at all any more, and try not to miss mark and susan on the anniversary of their epic oscars parties wherein we'd stuff ourselves silly with grits and red wine and cheese and spend the evening talking about good movies and realize a bit too late that we'd not even bothered to turn on the tv.

too many of my friends live in other places now. i really need to take a month off and take a cross-country trip to visit people, photograph places, and have adventures. maybe i'll save up and this time next year will be on my way to ... somewhere.

in the meantime, here are some trees.

the hollow fap-fap-fap of snow chains on dry road is the saddest sound in the world.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

been listening to chopin all morning. right now, its polonaise #6 in a flat. it's good music to scheme to.

and i've got schemes a'plenty... good ones, i think. definitely interesting to see what, if anything, will come of them. i've not been getting into enough of the right kids of trouble lately, and that's gotta change a bit.

that is all.

ok ok ok - i did it. i made a sale page for schadenphoto.

code word "julius caesar" will get you 30% off everything in the lupercalia gallery. code word "calpurnia" will get you 25% off everything else. now through 2/13/11. pass it on.

i was (and still am) having a hard time picking lovey-dovey type photos, and i'm sure i'll be adding a few more things this evening, but it's 98% good to go right now.

when i woke up this morning, i was really and truly hoping it had snowed overnight. now i'm really and truly hoping that it will snow over my lunch hour.